Harry's Silver Lining
by AvidBookLover2001
Summary: Hogwarts School of Wizardry is a University for Capable Students. Harry is an abused and neglected teenager of the age of 16 that is ready to leave behind his pain and join the real world. Who will be there to save him? The unexpected Severus Snape. Will a hesitant friendship form or possibly something more? Read this story to follow Harry through his journey in love and pain.
1. Chapter 1- Run Boy, Run!

**Harry's Silver Lining**

 **By: AvidBookReader2001**

 **Rating: T for Language and Abuse. Don't read if you can't handle it.**

 **Warning: Physical and Emotional Abuse Present. Underage Drinking and Smoking Present. Substance Use Present. Self-Harm Present.**

 **I do not own** ** _Harry Potter_** **.**

My head was pounding and I could feel my magic flowing to the surface but I had no choice but to push it back down. I balled my hands into fists and forced myself to ignore him. After all, I managed to ignore everyone all of my life. Even though I didn't know it yet, I was the Boy Who Lived but I hadn't actually lived a day in my life. It was time to change that.

"You little twit! Look at me when I speak to you!"

I carefully looked up into Uncle Vernon's eyes and saw ice cold blue eyes filled with hatred. How a man could possibly hate a boy so much was beyond my understanding. I was only 16 years old but I had years of neglect and abuse printed onto me. Memories of beatings, starvation, untreated illnesses, and hatred wrapped around my heart like a chain and held me prisoner. I was a slave to these memories and as a result my feelings and mind were closed off to anyone and everyone.

"You're just like your worthless father, too arrogant to pay attention, and look what happened to that drunk prat!"

I was starting to come undone. I tolerated insults directed at me but I crossed the line at my parents. I clenched and unclenched my jaw at an effort to stay in control. I managed to close my eyes in time for the blow. His fist connected with my nose and I felt the resounding crack, as blood started to gush. I didn't have time to prepare for the punch in my stomach as I doubled over and gave him the opportunity to kick my ribs. I fell down as one or two of my ribs cracked and I was overcome with pain.

"You cry like a baby. It reminds me of your daft mother!"

My eyes flew open as adrenaline took control of me and my heart started to beat faster and faster. I stood up, ignoring the tremendous pain, and with my towering height I looked down at Vernon with as much hate and defiance I could muster.

"You will not speak of my mother like that, you fat tosser!"

Unfortunately, with those words of defiance came an equal punishment. I flew onto the floor when his backhand slapped my face in unusual strength. He grabbed my hand and flipped me over to my back and lifted my shirt up. I heard his belt slide off like a hissing snake and pounce onto my back. He was unforgiving this time. The cracks bounced off of each other, giving no time in between. It lasted more than an hour as I felt the blood drip and pool on the floor. I was starting to lose consciousness when he finally stopped. I was thrown into the cupboard with my bare and stricken back.

I told myself to stay awake, to fight the deafening darkness that threatened to consume me. I barely kept my eyes open enough to hear him march upstairs and fall asleep with the others. I knew then what I would need to do.

I took a lot of time to finally admit what I had to do, but it was vital. I pushed myself up and threw one of the overly large shirts on and another, both to mask the stains of blood and to keep me warm from the betraying cold in Great Britain. I carefully slipped on some very tight work boots that I was given and took my small pack of personal belongings. I had very little, only some socks, a small wad of cash that I kept from my job as a factory worker, a pack of cigarettes (they make living hell bearable), a picture of my parents, and a letter.

I had kept the letter secret ever since I received it two days ago. I still could not believe that a school of wizards… a school of magic, could want me as a student. Well, it was more of a university than a school and I was still too young to attend. I had to wait two more years for this chance of a lifetime. I had thought that I could spend the last two years with the Dursley's and then head off to the school but I knew that I couldn't control myself with them any longer so a life on the streets would have to do.

I carefully pushed open the door of the cupboard as to not wake anyone and left the small house that has caused me so much pain, both emotional and physical.

I wandered the dark and empty streets until I crossed over to the dangerous side of town, where it was buzzing with life. As I felt the blood drip down under my shirt, I knew that I would have a very vulnerable appearance so I went inside a small pub, hoping to use to bathroom.

I nodded to the bartender in show of peace and entered the small space. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was built pretty nicely, as 6 feet 6 inches filled the small room easily and my recently achieved muscles fit the tall body. My hair, black as night, framed my face and stuck up in all directions, no matter how much I combed it, it was wild and unruly but it suited me. My sideburns and stubble covered my face and my jaw stuck out. Lastly, I had electric green eyes which shocked every person I had come into contact with, because of its unusual hugh.

I looked down and saw my tattered grey shirt which was barely covering the blue one I wore underneath and yet they both went down until my elbows. I could see the sides and back of my shirt already stained with blood and my face, hands, and visible parts of my body covered in bruises and scratches. My jeans were small on me with holes but it didn't bother me.

I quickly took off my shirt and placed it in the sink to wash. I managed to get most of the blood off of me using wet paper towels but had to bite my hand to keep from screaming from the pain. I covered my back with paper towels and put my wet shirts back on. I washed my face with the water and came out.

The pain was getting unbearable so I decided to buy a drink to numb it as much as I could. I knew that I was underage but over the years I managed to smuggle a few drinks to help me with the pain, and the cigarettes didn't hurt, when I could buy them.

I sat down at the very end of the bar and signaled for the bartender to come.

"Yes, sir?"

He raised his eyebrows and I knew he was having trouble believing I had enough money.

"I'll have two shots of vodka, please."

I took my wad of pounds out to show that I meant business and he quickly scurried off to bring the drink. I used this time to light a cigarette and look around. They were the usual people that I would expect at this part of town, but someone caught my eye.

On the complete opposite side of the bar, there was this man sitting, with black hair similar to my own, coming over to his chin. His thick eyebrows were furrowed in anxiety and he was biting his lips. His eyes were black as onyx and he looked to be about in his late twenties or early thirties.

His clothes were unusual to say the least. He was wearing robes, black again, and they covered his normal clothes. I could not take my eyes off of him, even when his eyes came up and looked into mine. It seemed like forever that I stared into the black holes that were his eyes, as they seemed to suck me in. Eventually, the bartender came with my drinks and I was forced to look away.

I downed the shots and paid him the appropriate amount and stood up to leave. On my way out, a woman and man appeared. The woman was wearing a highly revealing blue dress and had unkempt hair with overly excessive makeup. The man, however, looked dangerous and was wearing black clothes. He was the only one speaking.

"Hey, boy. The name's Garrett. You seem like a handsome bloke. Care to spend the night with this pretty lady?"

He motioned over to the woman and was eying my pack. I nicely yet hurriedly responded, eager of getting away.

"No, thank you. I have somewhere to be."

I looked down and tried to get out of the pub when I felt someone grab my pack. I turned around and saw Garrett leave with my only belongings. I quickly chased him into an alley when he stopped abruptly and turned around.

"My, my. What a sharp fellow."

I reached for my stuff when I felt him reach his hand back and collide it with my throat. I gasped for air as one hand covered my throat and the other I used to hold him in place. I released my hand and punched him hard on his jaw. He shook it off and punched me in my stomach and again in my ribs. He figured out my weakness as I fell on the floor and he repeatedly kicked my already hurt and bleeding back. I was teetering on the verge of passing out when the kicking stopped and I saw the man from the pub standing above me. My vision lost focus as I succumbed to the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2- Found

**Harry's Silver Lining**

 **By: AvidBookReader2001**

 **Rating: T for Language and Abuse. Don't Read If You Can't Handle It.**

 **Warning: Physical and Emotional Abuse Present.** **Underage Drinking and Smoking Present. Substance Use Present. Self-Harm Present.**

 **I Do Not Own** ** _Harry Potter_** **.**

I woke up groaning when I felt my back burn, as if it was lit on fire. I opened my eyes and saw that I was in a completely different place than my cupboard and reality came rushing back. I looked around and saw that I was laying on a black leather couch and almost everything in the room was either black, red, grey, or leather.

I attempted to get up but the pain was unbearable. Another groan escaped my lips as I pushed one leg off of the couch in an attempt to leave.

"Stop."

I turned my head around to see the man from the pub glaring at me. His anxiety stricken face was turned into hatred. Wow. So I guess everyone hates me.

"I'm- I'm sorry, sir. I just-"

I couldn't find the correct words but as I looked up and into his eyes, the words seemed to just flow out.

"Thank you… so much."

He broke the stare and responded.

"Yes, well… you're welcome."

His hate filled glare turned into neutral. After a few uncomfortable minutes, I decided to break the tension and get it over with.

I was uncomfortable as I tried to think of ways to leave as I started to scratch my stomach, without thinking. The man's eyes fixated on my portion of exposed skin and gasped. I forgot that I had a good portion of scars and my years of malnutrition had left its mark, as well.

"What happened to you?"

I was hesitant to answer his question because I knew that any feeling he had for me would be replaced with pity. I decided that pity is better than hatred as I responded with a cryptic remark.

"Not everyone has an easy life."

"I know. Trust me, I've experienced my fair share of hardships. Maybe I can help, just tell me the truth."

I sighed and finally decided to do the inevitable, since I couldn't delay it any longer.

"My parents both died in a car crash when I was one. I don't remember much of them but I do have a photograph. Anyway, my uncle and aunt started to "take care" of me since then. They're not really happy with that situation and they've been taking it out on me. My uncle has been beating me since I was two and I guess I haven't really had a full meal ever. Oh, and I sleep in a cupboard." I chuckled to relieve the tension but it didn't work. I watched him from the corner of my eye and saw his shocked and sad expression.

"So, that's why your back had so many scars?"

I nodded and he lowered his head.

"Ya, I just got, um… belted... but don't worry about it. Nothing I haven't… 'experienced' before."

"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I could do? Anything."

I looked into his eyes and saw pity. I shook my head. No one even cares for me. All anyone feels towards me is pity or hatred. Just once I would like someone to care for me, without those reasons.

"I better get going."

My fist was turning white with the amount of strength I was using to hold myself up. I pushed the other leg off and couldn't suppress the small whimper that escaped.

In a flash, the man came over to my side and helped me sit down.

"You can't go by yourself. Tell me where you live, and let me at least take you."

His eyes were full of concern. I became ashamed and embarrassed. I was homeless. I lived on the streets. I looked away from him and studied the detail on the floor as if it was the most important thing.

"I… You can just drop me off at the park."

He seemed to understand what I meant as he put two fingers under my chin and lifted my head to look at him.

"You can stay here, for as long as you need."

His eyes seemed to glimmer and his porcelain skin was shining in the sunlight. It seemed like he was a sparkly god. I couldn't hold myself back anymore as I leaned in and closed the distance by hesitantly brushing my lips against his own.

His hand cupped the back of my head and gently guided me towards him as our lips pressed together in a kiss. My hand instinctively reached forward and ran through his silky hair, soft as a pillow. It lasted hours yet it only lasted seconds. He pulled away, too soon.

His hands dropped creating a barrier between us and he whispered barely loud enough for me to hear.

"I can't do this. I'm 32 and… and how old are you? I'm taking advantage of you. I'm sorry. I'm-"

My head started to spin with what he was saying but I knew he was wrong. I knew we were meant to be.

"Stop."

He raised his head and looked into my eyes.

"I like you. You like me. It doesn't matter how old you are or how old I am. I like you- a lot."

I leaned in again and kissed him again. Our lips were mashed together in a heated and passionate kiss, expressing our feelings but all too soon, he pulled away, again.

"I don't even know your… What's… um, what's your name?"

I started to chuckle but answered, anyway.

"The name's Harry. Oh, and I'm 16."

He smiled and it was the only time I've seen him smile yet it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

"What about you?"

His smile weakened yet he still managed a small grin.

"Severus."

It rolled off his tongue like a snake and his deepened voice made my want for him increase as I encaptured his lips in another kiss, yet this time he didn't pull away.

He ran his tongue across my lip and I felt myself shiver. I opened my mouth and soon we were fighting for dominance but he soon conquered me. All was going well until I fell back onto the couch and couldn't stop the groan. He instantly jumped back and asked if I was alright. I chuckled yet it sounded strained.

"Yes, although, I think I might need a few more drinks… and maybe one or two fags."

He raised his eyebrows at my response but soon brought out two bottles of vodka and scotch. A little later and we were both drunk laughing our heads off.

It was the best day of my life so far. It was the day I finally found what I was looking for. _**Love**_.


	3. Chapter 3- Release

**Harry's Silver Lining**

 **By: AvidBookReader2001**

 **Rating: T for Language and Abuse. Don't read if you can't handle it.**

 **Warning: Emotional Abuse Present. Underage Drinking and Smoking Present. Substance Use Present. Self-Harm Present.**

 **I do not own** _ **Harry Potter**_ **.**

My days with Severus were filled with joy and happiness. We spent every second of every day in each other's company. I slept in his arms, yet he didn't push me to go further, as we never did. Unfortunately, these days were short lived.

"Harry?"

I was sitting on Severus's lap, very comfortably might I add, and we were both reading, when he laid the bomb on me.

"Hmm."

I reached up and pressed my lips against his own. His hand flew to my hair and my own locked onto his hips. His tongue caressed my lower lip and I shivered, pressing myself against him. I granted him access as his tongue battled against mine for dominance, but like always he won. As things grew more heated I found my hands going under his shirt and feeling his smooth and muscled stomach and chest. It was cut short when, Severus broke the kiss and looked away with sadness in his eyes.

"Listen, Harry, you know I love you, right?"

I moved his head to look at me, very gently, relishing the soft feeling of his skin and looked at him, in confusion. I let my eyes trace every single detail of his perfect face and I knew that every single fiber of my being loves him. I nodded.

"As you know, I work at a boarding school in Scotland and I have to be there in two days. It is…"

I was waiting for him to continue when I noticed streaks of tears coming down and I embraced him in a hug and whispered in his ear.

"You can tell me, Sev. I love you."

I heard him stifle a sob and I was worried as to what he might say, but deep down I dreadingly knew.

"I can't be with you anymore. It's not right and… and it will cause suspicions. I'm so sorry but I can't."

His words felt like a dagger plunged deep into my heart as I felt the sting- nay massive burn of rejection. It's not right? How dare he say what we have- this magnificent, wonderful love- is not right?!

I stood up, abruptly and icily responded.

"I'm sorry that you are embarrassed to be with me but just know that I would never be embarrassed. I would shout it from the rooftops if I could… 'I'm in love with the most perfect man'.. But if you can't see that or if you don't feel that way, then I have to leave. Thank you for your hospitality."

I turned around before he could respond, grabbed my pack and stormed out. The tears were flowing freely and when I got back to the recognizable part of town, I collapsed in an alleyway and found myself sobbing for my loss. It lasted days and weeks, feeling the terrible pain of loss, yet it only lasted hours. The feeling of emptiness and rejection overcame me and I was forced to hear the voices of the people I loved, haunting me.

"You're worthless Harry, no one loves you." I sobbed as I imagined my mom telling me this. "You freak! People like you should not be alive. Why don't you go kill yourself, already?" Uncle Vernon's voice flew into my head from years of torment. My father appeared looking at me with hatred and disgust in his eyes. "I could never want a son like you. You disgrace me. I HATE YOU." Everyone hates me, I should be dead. Severus couldn't love me. My parents couldn't love me. No one could love me.

For the next few hours I walked, like a zombie, around the bad part of town and found myself in the very same pub that I saw Severus in.

I had more cash left over and some extra that Severus insisted I keep by me, for emergencies. I called the bartender over and ordered a hefty amount of whiskey to drown my sorrows in. It was not enough. I wanted to feel completely numb from the world… unattached.

I stumbled over to the dark corner of the pub where I knew the shady dealers would be and I hated myself for resorting to this, but it seemed like a necessity. The hole in my heart and the never ending pain was too much and I needed it to go away.

I purchased a large amount of heroin and stumbled out back to the alley. As I injected the harmful toxin into my bloodstream, I felt the release I was looking for, as I slumped against the wall finally away from reality.

As I came down from my high, I continued to walk. I didn't notice where I was until I heard some people laughing and shouting. I was at the abandoned playground near my house. There was a group of people, obviously drunk laughing and running around, while some were collapsed on the floor. I desperately craved the need to be comforted and needed, so I found myself nearing them as if they were beckoning to me like deadly sirens.

"Oi, what are you doing, mate?"

The brown haired, doe eyed, boy spoke to me and I hastily responded, slurring quite often.

"Can I join you? It's okay if you don't want me to. I mean, I totally und-"

"Whoa, whoa. It's okay. Long as you don't get us into trouble, mate."

I nodded and accepted the large bottle of vodka that was handed to me. I took out the heroin and offered it to him but was surprised when a few of them took theirs out and said they had enough. I ended up taking more drugs that night than any other day in my life combined. From injecting heroin to snorting cocaine and drinking vodka and whiskey, I collapsed on the ground and passed out.

I spent the next two years in this fashion, barely teetering on the verge of death and insanity. My addiction was stronger than ever and I figured out that I relied on my fix every couple of hours or else I would loose it. Severus became a memory rather than reality and even though my love never wavered, I ceased thinking about it.

It was when I went to Hogwarts School of Wizardry For Capable Students that my world came crashing down and I was forced to face reality once more.


	4. Chapter 4- Lonely Madness

**Harry's Silver Lining**

 **By: AvidBookReader2001**

 **Rating: T for Language and Abuse. Don't read if you can't handle it.**

 **Warning: Physical and Emotional Abuse Present. Underage Drinking and Smoking Present. Substance Use Present. Self-Harm Present.**

 **I do not own Harry Potter.**

"Harry. Harry, wake up. Come on, mate."

I felt someone shake my shoulders but I was far too lost in the world of pleasure to register anything. The gray waves came over and swept me in. It was soothing and numbing. I forgot everything for a short couple of minutes. I forgot the Dursleys. I forgot my homelessness. I forgot Severus.

A small smile played at my lips which gave Dave enough signal to leave me alone. I spent the last two years with Dave and the others. They accepted me despite my broken state and treated me like family. I loved and cared for them and they felt the same for me. I finally had the sense of family, I always wanted.

I felt a weight fall down next to me and I opened one eye. Amy was lying next to me with a new bottle of tequila. She was very beautiful but I was not proud to call her my girlfriend, I was fighting my sexuality and refusing to accept the true love I felt with Severus.

"Hey." I mumbled. The new dosage was lengthening my high yet I was still desperate for more after it died down.

She responded by pressing her lips against mine and pushing her hand through my hair. I could taste the weed and alcohol from her tainted lips. When she pulled away, I grabbed the bottle and downed half of it, desperately wanting to be numb again.

"Oi, Harry!"

I carefully stood up, swaying like the wind blowing through the trees, and walked over to Peter. He was the group's "supplier" and even though he was a bit eccentric, he always came through.

"Listen Harry, I know you're going to university next week, so I packed a few more packages and bottles, enough to last you a month. When you're done, I'll send you a letter of where you could meet me for more."

I smiled and thanked him, while I looked around. I wouldn't be seeing any of my friends for a long time.

"DAVE!"

All of our heads turned to see Jack running towards us with worry obviously etched in his face.

"The Bobbies! They're coming. We have to hide the stuff."

For a second, everyone stood still absorbing the severity of the words then chaos erupted. Some people were hauling the unconscious off the floor, while the others were packing the bottles and drugs.

"Okay, everybody!" Dave's superior voice made everyone stop and look at him.

"Let's head off towards the east tunnel. There's a small shack there, where we could hide, if necessary. Those of you have to get home, do so, but don't attract attention and go in duos, no more."

I grabbed Amy's hand and a couple of bags, as we headed off towards the tunnel. I had my recently acquired wand, from Diagon Alley, in my pocket. I didn't know many spells but I spent some time reading the books needed for my classes, so I knew a few.

We were all huddled in the tunnel listening for sirens, when they came. A sudden coldness swept over us and we all looked at eachother in confusion. The lights flickered and suddenly they appeared. It smelled of death and when I turned my head I saw three hooded and cloaked, floating figures with warped faces. According to the books I had read, these figures were dementors.

I knew that we were as good as dead because the charm to save us, the Patronus, was way too difficult for me. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to just give up.

I chanted the words in my head, over and over again. Expecto Patronum. Expecto Patronum… I knew that I had to think of a happy memory, but all of my memories were hazy and dimmed with drugs. I chose the laughing faces of my parents from the photograph I had and took out my wand. The dementors were already nearing us. I pointed the wand at them and yelled out the charm.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

A thin wisp of smoke came out of my wand but no shield was produced. I grew aggravated and there was no time, Peter was being attacked.

I closed my eyes and thought only of my parents. I thought of my mother's red hair flowing like fire and her warm smile, filled with love. I thought of my father's proud eyes and wacky grin. I opened my eyes and stared into the eyes of the devil and screamed the charm.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

White light exploded from my wand and the dementors all flew away. My wand clattered on the ground as everyone turned to stare at me.

I could already hear what they were going to say. Freak. Weird. Abnormal. Disgusting.

I picked up my bags, wand, and what Peter packed for me and I ran. I ran and ran. I didn't stop even when my lungs were giving up and my muscles grew numb. I fell and cried. I lost everything. I lost my girlfriend, my friends…. My family.

With my hands fumbling and shaking, I quickly snorted some cocaine. My nose was burning from overuse, but the numbness was comforting. I repacked my stuff and put a concealment charm on all of the drugs and alcohol, just in case, and cast a glamour on myself. I put everything in the trunk I bought from Diagon Alley. Last week, I had no idea how to purchase anything but a man named Remus Lupin found me walking the streets of London, trying to find the mysterious magical stores, it was also the day that I figured out how to control my emotions other than using drugs or alcohol. I still remembered my shocked face when he told me how to get there….

 ***START FLASHBACK***

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that you look a bit lost. Is there any way I could help you, um…."

"Harry, and thank you but I don't think you would know, I mean it is sort of a 'special' place."

He smiled at me with a sparkle in his eyes.

"You know, you remind me of someone. Anyway, I think I might know. Let's see."

He picked up the parchment and nodded.

"Okay, Diagon Alley. I can take you, you see, I'm a wizard, myself."

I gave him a small smile and we started to walk to a pub called The Three Broomsticks. As we were entering the back, I saw a poster.

 _HARRY POTTER: THE BOY WHO LIVED, DISAPPEARS_

I hid my shocked face as I followed him through the puzzling maze. I was famous? I kept doubting myself as we headed towards Diagon Alley. After he dropped me off and introduced himself as , I left and purchased all of the required supplies but as I was leaving I saw another fraying poster. It showed a picture of a baby with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Instinctively, I reached up and touched the scar, hidden underneath the glamours. Ever since I was a child, the scar frightened people so I always covered it up. I didn't know that people considered the scar as an emblem.

"Ah, the boy who lived... Such a tragic story, really, but you probably already know about that."

The boy who lived? I wanted to know more so I turned around to look at the man standing next to me, but he was more of a giant than a man. I shook my head, hesitantly.

"What? Well, I'll tell you the story, but it really is sad. So, there was James and Lilly Potter, really great people they were, and they had a little babe called Harry. One day, you know who..."

He stopped for a second and his eyes widened as he continued.

"Voldemort." He shuddered and my ears strained to hear what he said.

"He found out where they were hiding and well, killed them."

He whispered the last words and I felt a weight fall on top of me. My parents were murdered by.. By a man and they were wizards too? This was too much for me.

"Little Harry survived but nobody knows where he is now. He was supposed to be with his muggle uncle and aunt but he ran away."

I nodded, weakly, and mumbled thanks as I left. I was shaking. The built up pressure was threatening to explode. The drugs were not helping, I needed to release the tension bubbling up. I went to the playground and placed my belongings by my corner as I started to pace. My eyes saw red as I remembered Aunt Petunia telling me that they died in a car crash caused by drunk driving. How dare she?!

Without thinking I punched the brick wall, hard, and I saw the blood trickle from my knuckles. I hissed as some of the tension left my body. I needed more… more pain. I went over to my bag and pulled out the swiss army knife I had for protection. I lowered it onto my hand and pushed on my skin, causing it to rupture, cutting through like butter. I cut over and over again, until I was weak and I fell into the darkness. I discovered a way to control myself.


End file.
